


if this is the end (then let me hold your hand)

by joydecoy



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Castles, First Kiss, M/M, Magical Realism, Rapunzel Elements, idk dude, just a lil bit, rapunzel-ish if u will, ye olden times
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 10:57:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15884643
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/joydecoy/pseuds/joydecoy
Summary: HE’S COMING, she had said. HE’S COMING. THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT.





	if this is the end (then let me hold your hand)

**Author's Note:**

> (or: a retelling of rapunzel) ((kinda))

he doesn’t remember what day it is anymore. they all blur together after a while. he’s watched the sky twist itself into colours he’s never seen before, never heard of till he saw it splattered onto the canvas of the window. blue, red, purple, dripping and fading into one another, chasing each other across between the twinkling stars, past the moon. night becoming day, day becoming night. is that the sun rising or setting? is that even the sun?

HE’S COMING, she had said. HE’S COMING. THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT. WE’RE JUST ANOTHER PLATE AT THE BUFFET. ANOTHER SONG IN THE SAND. ANOTHER ECHO IN THE PALACE. 

the last part makes sense, at least. the palace is always noisy, at least from what he can hear. always bustling with voices and laughter. he’d press his ear against the floorboards, soak in the happiness that was in those sounds. 

food arrives with two sharp raps of the knuckle on the door and an empty hallway without stairs. a rooster crows at exactly 7am outside the window. and him? he tries to stay sane.

YOUR NAME IS TAEYONG, his mom told him, years and years ago. DON’T TELL ANYONE. but he did, because he was jealous of the way the teachers would yell the other kids’ names at roll call, until all the names got called out and it was only his left. WHAT’S YOUR NAME? they would ask, and he could only shake his head.

his friends called him ZERO. IT SOUNDS COOL, they told him. and, well. it fits. he didn’t use it much, and no one really cared to use it either. 

ZERO, HUH. a boy once said. SUMS YOU UP AS A PERSON. YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING. YOU DON’T HAVE A MOM, YOU DON’T HAVE A DAD, YOU DON’T HAVE REAL FRIENDS, HECK YOU DON’T HAVE A GODDAMN NAME. they laughed and laughed and laughed, and it never seemed to stop. in that fit of anger he forgot everything, and just let it slip.

MY NAME IS TAEYONG. HAPPY NOW? and they had all gone quiet. deathly quiet.

WHAT? he had asked. THAT’S MY FUCKING NAME. THAT’S— and the other boy took a step closer to him, arm raised.

a fist, a shout, a shooting pain as his head made contact with the ground, and then nothing.

YOUR NAME IS JAEHYUN. the lady told him when he woke up. I’M SORRY YOU HAD TO GO THROUGH THAT. YOUR NAME IS JAEHYUN. 

WHAT?

YOUR NAME IS JAEHYUN. YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO LIVE HERE FROM NOW ON. DON’T WORRY, YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY ARE FINE. YOUR NAME IS JAEHYUN.

CAN I SEE THEM?

YOUR NAME IS JAEHYUN. SORRY, LOVE. NO, NO YOU CAN’T.

WHY?

YOU CAN’T LEAVE THIS ROOM EVER AGAIN. YOUR NAME IS JAEHYUN.

STOP SAYING THAT! I’M TAEYONG! he shouts the last part, and the lady’s eyes widen with fear.

PLEASE DON’T SAY THAT. YOUR NAME IS JAEHYUN, REMEMBER? CAN YOU SAY IT WITH ME, LOVE? JAEHYUN.

JAEHYUN. the syllables are heavy and foreign in his mouth.

GOOD. 

WHERE IS THIS PLACE?

IT’S THE ROYAL PALACE. she says with a smile. it doesn’t look like it. the room is bare, save for the necessities. there are a few books on a small table overlooking a window, but that’s all there is.

WHY AM I HERE?

IT’S BECAUSE HE’S COMING.

WHO? 

the lady’s eyes take on a glassy look. THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT. WE’RE JUST ANOTHER PLATE AT THE BUFFET. ANOTHER SONG IN THE SAND. ANOTHER ECHO IN THE PALACE. 

WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

HUSH. NO NEED FOR FOUL LANGUAGE. I’LL EXPLAIN MORE LATER, OKAY? she smiles gently. she looks like his mother, years and years ago. his frustration fades away.

OKAY. the door slams shut behind her. there’s no sound of a lock clicking in place, but no matter how hard he pulled or pushed, the door doesn’t yield.

she never came back.

no one comes to visit, not any of his friends. maybe they forgot about him. maybe they got brainwashed. maybe they were told he was dead. on the wooden leg of his bed frame, he scratches the word TAEYONG. when he wakes up the next day, the letters are gone. 

he practices saying it over and over again, until he memorises the movement of his mouth. he names the most magnificent colour in the sky after himself, a deep wine-red that shifts and shimmers under the rays of the sun. it makes him happy, somehow.

news arrives in the form of singing from downstairs. it startles taeyong awake in the middle of the night, two voices, one male and the other female. HE’S HERE. HE’S HERE. HE’S HERE. they chorus, over and over again. there’s more voices now, shouting in confusion, before those voices, too, join in the strange chorus. 

he turns over in his bed and goes back to sleep.

the next morning, everything sounds the same. he convinces himself it’s a bad dream, and makes his way to the desk next to his window, settling down to reread a book again.

that evening, the sky is a deep purple. it’s something he’s never seen before, and he sits on the table with his dinner in the map, staring up at the endless sky above him.

HEY, UP THERE. CAN YOU HEAR ME? a voice shouts. he looks down, and there’s a boy around his age, hands shielding his eyes from the sun and peering up at him.

YOU CAN SEE ME?

OF COURSE I CAN. YOU EXIST, DON’T YOU?

that’s debatable, a voice in his head says.

WELL, YEAH. DO YOU NEED ANYTHING?

YEAH, I DO. CAN YOU HAUL UP THE GRAPPLE HOOK NEXT TO YOU? he looks to his left, and— oh. 

he holds onto the rope tight, while the boy clambers up the wall to his window. it’s a good 10 or so storeys from the ground, and he gulps as he watches the boy climb.

THERE WE GO. THANKS, TAEYONG. the boy smiles, and it looks like the sun.

TAEYONG? I’M JAEHYUN. he barely manages to get out over the sudden pounding of his heart, and the boy scoffs.

YOU DON’T ACTUALLY BELIEVE WHAT THEY SAY, DO YOU? YOU’RE TAEYONG, DUMBASS.

WELL, WHAT’S YOUR NAME THEN? he asks, suddenly defensive.

YUTA. 

IS THAT A FAKE NAME?

NO, IT ISN’T. I’M NAKAMOTO YUTA. YOU CAN CALL ME NAKAMOTO IF YOU WANT.

NO, I THINK YUTA IS GOOD.

I THINK SO TOO. the boy— no, yuta— smiles.

they talk and talk the whole night, and the door stays shut the whole time. there’s the chorus again that night, this time even louder.

HUH, THAT’S A COMPLIMENT, yuta muses.

WHAT? WHAT ARE THEY DOING? 

RELAX, IT’LL MAKE SENSE IN TIME, I SWEAR. yuta’s tone is serious, too serious, and taeyong backs off.

yuta leaves right after the rooster crows, and the sky stays deep purple from morning till night. taeyong names it after yuta, and spends the rest of the day trying to find words to describe its colour. 

beautiful. magnificent. gorgeous. spectacular. they all sound so plain next to the rich expanse of the sky.

polarizing, he decides. the kind that stops you dead in your tracks, that leaves you breathless. the kind that knocks on your door one day and says, HELLO, YOUR LIFE IS GOING TO CHANGE FROM NOW ON.

that’s what that colour is. that’s what he wants yuta to be.

yuta arrives again that evening, 7pm sharp. he’s dressed in the same thing from yesterday (when was there a yesterday?), plain and simple hunter clothes, torn at the edges.

GOSH, I NEED SLEEP, he groans, flopping into taeyong’s bed. 

WHAT DID YOU DO?

I’M TOO TIRED TO SPEAK.

OH, COME ON. 

REALLY! JUST LET ME HAVE A NAP FIRST, OKAY?

ALRIGHT.

taeyong returns to his book, and lets yuta sleep the night away. the chorus grows even louder this time, but he feels protected with yuta’s presence, somehow. they don’t talk that night, but yuta gives him a bright smile and a hug before he leaves, and that’s enough to satisfy taeyong. the rooster gives a crow, and yuta disappears again. 

and so goes by a full week like that, with yuta appearing and disappearing at will. taeyong takes to sleeping in the morning, and the door somehow always remains closed.

yuta arrives one night in clothes covered in deep red stains. he envelops taeyong in a suffocating hug, and it takes taeyong a few seconds before he realises yuta’s crying.

I CAN’T LOSE YOU. NOT AGAIN. I CAN’T. I JUST CAN’T. yuta sobs, shoulders shaking.

SHH, I’M NOT GOING ANYWHERE. I’M STUCK HERE, REMEMBER? I’LL ALWAYS BE HERE, RIGHT WHERE YOU LEAVE ME. taeyong whispers. his mind is filled with frantic questions, but if it means calming yuta down, then taeyong’s content to silence his thoughts for another day.

I’M SO SCARED. I’M SO SCARED FOR TOMORROW.

IT’S OKAY, WHATEVER YOU’RE THINKING ABOUT, IT’S GOING TO BE OKAY. COME ON, GET ON YOUR FEET. taeyong hauls yuta up till he’s standing again, and once again, he’s blown away from how beautiful yuta is up close.

DO YOU NEED A CHANGE OF CLOTHES? A NAP? I HAVE SOME FOOD LEFT OVER FROM DINNER, TOO, taeyong fusses, and yuta snorts, wiping away his tears.

I’M OKAY, I SWEAR. SORRY FOR THAT MINI BREAKDOWN. LET’S JUST TALK TONIGHT, YEAH?

WHEN HAVE I EVER SAID NO? taeyong replies, and yuta laughs.

the chorus is at its loudest that night, their voices vibrating through the floorboards. but yuta doesn’t care, just keeps his eyes on taeyong as he listens to taeyong talk about another book he’s read. 

and, well, if yuta can pretend, taeyong can too.

when the clock reads 7am in the morning, the rooster doesn’t crow. taeyong knows it’s time for yuta to go, anyway, from the sudden tense line in yuta’s shoulders when he turns away to lace up his boots.

I’LL SEE YOU AGAIN, RIGHT? taeyong asks. 

OF COURSE YOU WILL. JUST— 

yuta’s words break off, and he steps closer, into taeyong’s personal space. there’s a soft look in his eyes.

IS THIS OKAY? yuta asks, even as he moves impossibly closer.

WHEN HAS IT NOT BEEN? taeyong replies, and he closes the remaining gap between them.

yuta leaves with the brightest smile taeyong’s ever seen on him. when taeyong finally snaps out of his daze, he notices the sky is a deep purple, just like the first day they met.

it’s afternoon when taeyong hears noise from downstairs again. it’s usually quiet in the afternoon, but this time, there’s screams and shouts, the distinct clank of swords against swords. he shuts his eyes, and wills himself to stay calm. he’s going to see yuta again. he’s going to see yuta again. he’s — 

there’s a knock on his door. not two raps of the knuckle for lunch, but a three solid raps of the fist, firm and loud. 

there’s going to be nothing behind that door again, he tells himself. maybe just a meal before dinner because they cooked too much lunch for other guests. taeyong takes a deep breath, and opens the door. he half-expects the door to stay shut, but it opens easily.

there’s no empty hallway this time, no tray of food. but yuta in his hunter clothes, even more bloody than they were this morning. his eyes are bright, smile bright like the sun. and when he sees taeyong, he grabs him by the arm and hauls taeyong out the room. 

there’s a staircase this time. there’s stairs leading down and down and down and yuta, smiling.

HELLO. he says. YOUR LIFE IS GOING TO CHANGE FROM NOW ON.

as evening falls in the distance, the sky twists and turns, and changes into a polarizing shade of deep red and purple.

**Author's Note:**

> i wrote this in like 2+ hours bc i was procrastinating homework and heyyy this happened (exams are in less than a month and look who hasn't started homework nor revision! alternatively yuta needs more fics)
> 
> i hope u enjoyed this fic!! it's been a while since i wrote so i hella enjoyed writing this  
> kudos and comments are always appreciated !! hmu on tumblr @joydecoy


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